Ups and Downs

There seem to be so many ups and downs in life. Especially if you have a child that may have autism. Ryan has good days, days where I suspect he knows so much more than he can communicate, where he is so sweet to everyone and pats his baby sisters head gently saying, "Nice, nice." And there are the bad days... he is sometimes so hard to handle that I think some days that I cannot do it anymore. But then I find strength and I do it anyway. He can wriggle so hard as he flails his arms and legs around that I can barely hold him when he throws a fit or tries to run away outside, and hes only three and 32 lbs! I want so much to have a real conversation with him at times, get to know him, what he thinks about things, his opinions, but mostly I feel I do know him by his actions what he likes to play with, what makes him smile. We have an appt with Dr. Tripp on Monday (finally after months of waiting). I don't know if he will be able to diagnose Ryan right away or if we will have more tests. Right now I will take my neighbor, and mother of an autistic teenager's, advice and take one day at a time, Lord help me. And I'll remember each day how fortunate I am to have my Ry guy here to cuddle or keep me on my toes.
It turns out Ryan is switching preschools already. We wanted him closer to home and they had an opening at Wildwood elementary. He would be there today but he woke up with a bad croupy cough and runny nose so regretfully he had to miss his first day. We went to the classroom to visit and I was so thankful for the teacher he has. We recognized each other from the childfind testing Ryan went through. She is wonderful and I think Ryan will improve in her class when he is able to get adjusted to going to school. He had really been having a hard time the second week in the other school. They even had to call me at one point for ideas on how to make him feel better. How sad, my poor baby! but I have to remind myself how this is all very good for him. Any and all prayers for him are appreciated.
Isabella got a new jumper and her little feet don't quite reach the bottom yet but she likes it and its so cute to see her using her hands to play with the toys. She is amazingly fond of looking at books just like her sister Jessica used to be at her age. Now she is trying to hold them herself-so cute!
I just want to say thank you today for my wonderful helpers Jessi, Jon,and Kaylie. Where would I be without your help? You help me with Bella, Ryan, and the cleaning and cooking. Thanks so much- Mom loves you! I want to thank my wonderful husband for all your hard work for our family. You go out everyday and work long hours to keep us all going. I love you!